I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
