He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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