we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
