New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
