I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
