Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
