It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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