when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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