So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
