Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
