And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
