the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She said her name was "party"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
