I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
