i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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