i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
