You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
