Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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