I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
