We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
