Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
