let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
