I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
