areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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