I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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