I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
