worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
