she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
