just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
