I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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