We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
