she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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