i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
