I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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