'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
As shirtless as possible
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You have to summon your inner elephant
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
