i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
