She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
