why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
