and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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