considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize