Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
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