You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
