Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
