then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
