Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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