My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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