How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
