I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
