I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
