I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
