You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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