PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
