Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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