Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
