wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
