You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
