I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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