NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
