yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize