try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
