If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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