i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
