overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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